Baby Barbie

Congrats! There's a teeny weeny Barbie inside of you!

My, my. Finally, after all those years of skanking with nothing to show for it, there's a yellow-headed dumpling baby on the way. And it fits so nicely in your plastic void!

Motherhood is totes gonna be a blast!

But life's no party, Barb, and raising a baby ain't easy. I bet the thought didn't even cross your mind when Ken's toy dong penetrated your MATTEL® babymaker. Anyways, all judgment aside, I would like to give you support and encouragement as you enter this exciting phase of life. So, here are some words of wisdom. Hope they help.

1. Breast milk is way cooler than regs milk.
2. Eat lots of glitter while pregnant, so your baby will sparkle.
3. You will like giving birth; it is another great opportunity to not wear panties.
4. Think REALLY hard while you're in labor because it makes your baby smarter.
5. If you do not like the baby you get, remember you can always send it back.
6. Do not devour your baby after delivery. Wait a while.

Enjoy raising your lil' one and God Bless! Send my love to Ken!