David the Gnome

Look around you.
There are many things to see,
that some would say could never be.

These things I know.
They're true and I will tell you so.
They are there to see, if you believe.

Trolls and wizards and fairy kings.
Birds that talk and fish that sing.
And if your heart is true,
then you will find them, too.

In every wish and dream and happy home,
you will find the kingdom of The Gnomes.

In 1987 I met the man of my dreams. A 399-year-old, 6-inch small gnome who rocked my world and my blew my mind. David was his name, and if you're a child of the 80's, you better damn well know who I'm talking about. 

David starred as himself in the lead role of the animated hit series, The World of David the Gnome on Nickelodeon. The show followed David, a skilled doctor by trade, and his wife Lisa (ugh) on tons of gnarly adventures. Our homeboy lived a blissful life with frumpy Lisa and their two kids, Harold and Lily. Home base was in the stump of a tree.

The show's premise is simple, yet wholly entertaining. Relying on his besty, a super-fast fox named Swift, David rescued countless gnomes, trolls and forest creatures who suffered from injuries and ailments often caused by man. David's sexy altruism, heroic healing powers and keen eye for adventure made The World of David the Gnome spell-binding and irresistible. But all good things must come to an end and sadly, Nickelodeon stopped airing the show around 1995. A-HOLES.

So here's to David the Gnome. The one who got away. On the back of a cracked-out fox. Ride on, my precious tiny-man. Surely I'll see you next lifetime.